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Overview - The Old Ways
Positive Indian Parenting Philosophy

Positive Indian Parenting

Introduction

This Positive Indian Parenting curriculum is designed to provide a brief, practical culturally-specific training program for Indian parents. The first goal of the curriculum is to help Indian parents explore the values and attitudes expressed in traditional Indian child-rearing practices and then to apply those values to modern skills in parenting. Since there is no one tradition among Indian people for child rearing, several examples from numerous tribes are used as examples. When we speak of traditional we are referring to the old ways - ways that existed prior to white influence. Because the concept of traditional varies among people we will refer to these as old ways or historical ways. It is up to each individual using this material to tailor them to fit their own community. There are some universal values, attitudes, or customs that may be expressed differently in local communities, which give the trainer a basis to build on. These universals include the oral tradition, story telling, the spiritual nature of child rearing and the role of extended family. It is the assertion of this curriculum that valuable lessons are to be learned from the old ways and that Indian parents can find strength in cultural traditions.

A second goal of the Positive Indian Parenting curriculum is to help parents develop positive and satisfying attitudes, values, and skills that have their roots in out cultural heritage.

Promoting the growth and well being of the Indian child through positive parenting, which is culturally inspired is the underlying message to parents.

This curriculum is intended for parent trainers and provids information on how to train, training issues, organizing training and suggested content and structure for parent seesions. In addition, material for parents is available. The curriculum is designed so that even someone with little previous experience could implement the program. However, a basic workshop for leaders can be very helpful.

The section entitled Part Two: Parenting Curriculum is arranged in a format that might be used as a lesson plan. There are eight topic areas. Background reading is suggested to help the trainer prepare. Each topic area is designed to be the subject of one two to three hour sessions.

We hope you find the information and suggestions in this manual useful in your efforts to help Indian parents provide positive Indian parenting.
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Overview
The Old Ways

Every new generation faces the difficult task of raising its children. Though we may live in a time very different from that of our grandparents, we have the same responsibilities as parents as they did. We must nurture and protect our children, help them learn society's beliefs and values, will need to survive.

and teach them the skills they For hundreds of years, Indian parents were guided by traditions that never left parenting to chance. These traditions were passed on from one generation to the next. The traditions may have varied from one tribe to the next, but they all had the same purpose -- to ensure the tribe's future through its children. Unfortunately, many of these traditions have declined in our families because of the influence of the dominant society. While we cannot go back to the world as it once was, we can still find great value in our child-rearing traditions. Some of the child-rearing practices from our heritage are described below.

Many tribes believed that children were special gifts from the Creator. The tribal elders used praise and reassurance to encourage positive, loving relationships between parents and their childrem. Prophecies were often made about the worth of a child and his or her future. The whole community reognized a child's growth and development  through rites of passage ceremonies. These ceremonies were important for the child, too. The naming ceremony, for example, helped a child establish his or her identity in the tribe.

Living in small communities where individuals depended on each other for survival, children quickly learned how to get along with each other. it was important to cooperate, to share and to show respect for elders. Everyone understood and accepted the consequences for breaking the community's rules or limits. Discipline was carefully thought out to fit a child's need to understand a specific rule or limit.

Nurturing was an important part of traditional child rearing. the use of cradleboards, for example, meant that infants were rarely separated from their morthers. However, no one person carried the whle burden of raising a child. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins were always nearby to help when parents had other responsibilities. Sometimes  family members had specific roles to play -- eg, grandfather the storyteller, uncle the disciplinarian.

Through the telling of stories and legends, children learned about proper relationships with other people and the environment. They were taught to be good listeners and to regard words as sacred. Children were also taught to  be good observers and to understand the meaning of non-verbal communication.

We can see the important elements of positive parenting in our old ways. Children were respected and understood. Parent and child relationships were important and communication was well developed. Moral development received constant and careful attention. Even though our world is more complex than our ancestors, their child rearing practices provide strong models for indian parenting today. Before we look at how these traditions can be built into modern parenting we must first examine the philosophy behind positive indian parenting and the role of the parent trainer in creating an environment in which parents can clarify their values and dvelop new parenting skills.

Suggested Reading

Ponca Tribe. How to Grow Useful Poncas. Ponca City, Oklahoma: Ponka Tribal parenting Skills Training Project, 1983

Simons-Ailes, Sandra. The Growing Path: Traditional Infant Activities for Indian Children. Bernalillo, New Mexico: The Peublo Infant Parent Education Project, 1983

Underhill, Ruth. Indians of the Pacific Northwest. Chapters 11 and 12. Riverside, California: Sherman Institute Press, 1945.
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Positive Indian Parenting Philosophy

Positive Indian parenting nurtures, protects, guides and teaches. It is central to all other aspects of life and is the foundation of a healthy culture. Following are serveral assumptions which are central to the theme of developing positive Indian parenting:

Traditional (old ways before white influence) child-rearing pracrices provide a model which is valid for parents in today's modern society.

Parents are better able to complete the tasks oof parenting when they actively decide what type of parenting they want to provide.

Positive Indian parenting builds stronger children. Stronger children build stronger communities.

Positive Indian parenting recognizes children's need for nurturance, kindness, and a strong emotional connection between parent and child.

Positive Indian parenting recognizes the importance of direct teaching and examples set by parents and community in guiding moral and value development.

Positive Indian parenting recognizes that extended family historically had an important role in child rearing.

Positive Indian parenting recognizes that the values found in traditional legends and stories provide a foundation for successful child rearing.

Positive Indian parenting recognizes child development and the different stages of growth as taught by Indian elders and traditions as well as modern theories.

Positive Indian parenting recognizes the need for the value of parent-child communication.

Positive Indian parenting is dedicated to the idea that parents should be able to determine the ways in which they can best meet the needs of their children.

Positive Indian parenting recognizes that the complex and challenging times in which we live make Indian parenting an especially difficult task -- one in which parents need special information and skills in order to help their children.

Positive Indian parenting recognizes that in order to parent and to give children what they need, the parents must first be able to get what they need.

Positive Indian parenting recognizes that no one parent can be a "super parent" and that parents should have realistic expectations of themselves as well as of their children.

Positive Indian parenting recognizes that when alcohol becomes more important than children, effective parenting is lost.

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